#'pain's a well-intentioned weatherman predicting god as best he can'

[shreksstepfather]

Light at the end of the tunnel, blurred by the stained glass walls of your chapel.

Full comic on Webtoon

[juliapawshine]

Invisible machinery

These moving parts inside of me

Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time

Leaving only rust behind

Well I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I wanna feel again

Oh God, I wanna feel again

Down my arms, a thousand satellites

Suddenly discover signs of life

[artbulls]

I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain's a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I wanna feel again

[ruvviks]

so. that song and cassidy. what's the story 👀

HEHEHE THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME >:^) so the thing with cassidy is that he got in a very bad accident when he was younger which has left him with a lot of cybernetic bones and a fucked up nervous system. every single touch that he doesn't expect is processed as pain by his body which is why he HATES being touched and generally keeps his distance from other people

after his relationship with reid ended (badly) he did not get in another relationship for many many MANY years (and it takes him a contract and a year of unsuccessfully hunting down a target to even meet his new love interest) and despite telling himself he was fine all by himself he did very much yearn to have a deeper connection with someone again and actually let someone close to him

when will i feel this // as vivid as it truly is? // fall in love in a single touch // and fall apart when it hurts too much

cassidy in his assassin years (think 2076-era and the start of 2077) is very lonely and numbed by everything and he's running mostly on autopilot. his world looks bleak and desaturated and he often feels like nothing around him is even real

can we skip past near-death clichés // where my heart restarts, as my life replays?

this one is interesting because to me it describes the moment where he finally snaps out of autopilot which is described at the end of chapter 3 of the fic i once started writing for him. he basically gets in a motorcycle crash and suddenly everything is different but also not

all i want is to flip a switch // before something breaks that cannot be fixed

describes cassidy's silent desire to be able to actually live his life again before his autopilot state pushes him too far down a path he doesn't want to follow

rain or shine, i don't feel a thing // just some information upon my skin // i miss the subtle aches when the weather changed // the barometic pressure we always blamed

once again describing cassidy's longing for being able to connect with his surroundings again, but also from a later perspective when he's looking back on all the time he's lost to running on autopilot

invisible machinery // these moving parts inside of me // well they've been shutting down for quite some time // leaving only rust behind

cassidy has so many cybernetic bones and maintenance is a tedious and tiring process and he knows that he could essentially crumble apart so easily still. he could die at any given moment and probably won't live a very long life because of his condition and chronic pain and he's very aware of it but can't do much about it

well i know, i know the sirens sound // just before the walls come down // pain is a well-intentioned weatherman // predicting god as best he can // but god i wanna feel again

he has so many inner struggles about his boundaries and his needs and how to get what he wants and needs without causing himself more pain in the progress. eventually he gets it by the way he gets his happy ending!! but it takes a while to get there and definitely not in the way he was expecting it to happen

down my arms, a thousand satellites // suddenly discover signs of life

to me this part describes the single touch mentioned at the start of the song which he shares with someone and suddenly everything clicks together and he is no longer in pain. gentleness received from someone he never thought he would get that from given the circumstances but at the end of the day it makes sense because if you spend so long trying to kill each other you know exactly how to touch the other to hurt them but you also know exactly how to touch them to not inflict any pain at all

[caffeinebzz]

"Pain's a well-intentioned weatherman, predicting God as best he can... but, God, I want to feel again."

[deviant-nomad]

I know, I know, the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But, God, I want to feel again

---

“Touch” is the first of five songs written for the theme of Senses, in order of how they develop in the womb (Touch, Taste, Smell, Hearing, Sight). Writer Ryan O'Neal said: "At first this song was going to be a work of fiction about a character losing his/her sense of touch. As I imagined what that must feel like, I realised I was actually writing an intensely personal song. I’ve gone through seasons of my life where I’ve felt like I was stuck in between joy and sorrow. A purgatory of sorts, where I wasn’t present and enjoying the good in my life, but also not fully processing or feeling the bad either. Just numb. It’s a terrible state to be in, because by eliminating pain, we eliminate the possibility of joy." (x)

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and it's song time!!! So my first thought for this episode was indeed to go with Woodwork as you said, but on further thought I decided to go with Touch. Part of this was because how this song is such a good reflection of both TK and Carlos when they first meet. TK feeling lifeless and grey, Carlos resigned to the idea he'll never have the love he wants. But for the episode, i feel like the lyrics can describe Carlos's thoughts as he's dying and wanting to come back. Enjoy!!

Hi my friend! Sorry this is late, my weekend was not the weekend I anticipated it being! But I saw this come in and I just had to laugh because I guessed Woodwork, and ALMOST put the other song I was thinking of was Touch, but decided to just guess one song and then, it turns out, THAT was the song you picked!! Great minds indeed! And I think this is a really good choice so let's get to it!

When will I feel this As vivid as it truly is? Fall in love in a single touch And fall apart when it hurts too much

Uuuugh this is SUCH a good marker for where TK is during this episode, because we KNOW from season 1, and from his mom's death how he can shut down when he's really upset, instead of being brimming with all the big, vivid emotions we usually see from him. He spent a lot of this episode in crisis mode and you can see he's worried but not the frantic kind of worry we would expect (until he finds Carlos) because he's fighting SO hard to just stay present and do what needs to be done, putting the emotion away like Gabriel said. I have a feeling that when everyone left for the night and the hospital lights were out, TK fell apart watching Carlos sleep.

Can we skip past near-death clichés Where my heart restarts, as my life replays? All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

Oof, oof, oof. This is very rude after Carlos LITERALLY DIED for a few seconds there at the end! 😭😭😭 But circling back to before when he was still being held captive, you can see all of this running across his face. Every time Trudy mentions TK you can see the future Carlos thinks is never going to happen flash before his eyes. When he sees TK at the door and Trudy holding the knife, you can see the horror of what might happen in his face. When Carlos is screaming for help after making sure TK wasn't around to be in danger, you can see him trying to escape before it's too late. Rafa just absolutely slayed this episode.

I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I wanna feel again

This is so perfect for this show because "I know, I know the sirens sound" is perfect for first responders but it feels so different when it's someone you love that the sirens are for! I'm also thinking of Carlos being grateful for the pain that keeps him awake and alert because it means he's not dead yet, and TK welcoming the pain of finding Carlos unconscious and in need of CPR because at least he FOUND him, and now he has something to DO instead of just looking and hoping they get a clue.

Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing Just some information upon my skin I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed The barometric pressure we always blamed All I want is to flip the switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

This part makes me think of TK just going through the motions all day, and fighting the panic because he HAD to find Carlos, and Carlos trying to bury his panic and pain so he can connect with Trudy and try to escape. But it also really makes me think of their whole relationship, the aches and pains from disagreements, and the little hurts that they have gotten so much better at navigating together. Plus "All I want is to flip the switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed" is just...SUCH a raw line for something like this with Carlos and TK having a bit of a fight and then Carlos going missing and THEN finding out he could be the victim of a serial killer. Like, talk about wanting to go back and fix things before it's too late!

Invisible machinery These moving parts inside of me Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time Leaving only rust behind

Well I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I wanna feel again Oh God, I wanna feel again

This is just so so much the CPR scene. Carlos as been on the edge of death all day, preparing for it, knowing he will likely never see TK or his family again. And then a miracle happens and he gets Trudy to set him free but it's not enough and the drugs take him out and he's shutting down when TK come in and he hears the sirens outside. And then the TK of it all, with him shutting down all day just trying to get through the day and stay focused on finding Carlos because he will NOT give up on him like it seems the detective has. And you know he saw Carlos laying there and just felt so, so, so hollow like his own heart was rusted shut and would never work right again. I can imagine he relished the pain of dropping to his knees on the hard floor, the burn in his arms from forcing Carlos' heart to just keep pumping because it all means that he's still alive, but he's not feeling anything because Carlos is his HEART and he can't feel his emotions without his heart!

Down my arms, a thousand satellites Suddenly discover signs of life

And here, we have the hopeful end. The gasping breath as Carlos wakes, the rush of emotion TK can finally feel because Carlos is ALIVE, the jolt of fear followed by the balm of safety Carlos must feel when he sees his dad and TK came for him, I just...😭😭😭😭

Great choice as always my friend! And tomorrow we get some Marjan finally?! Can't wait! I'd also loooove at least 1 Tarlos scene to deal with some of the fallout here but that might have to wait a week. But fingers crossed!

[featherfletched]

Well I know, I know the sirens sound, Just before the walls come down. Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman, Predicting God as best he can. But God, I wanna feel again, OH GOD, I WANNA FEEL AGAIN.

[leonbloder]

The Lessons We Learn From Pain

I am living with pain and regret today.  

The other night I slipped while descending the stairs and fell, hitting my lower back on at least four steps before coming to a halt.

I regret not watching where I was going because I was looking at my phone.  The pain I feel is in direct correlation to my regret.  Now my back hurts, and I've been stretching it to find some release to no avail.

But I believe that I have learned a valuable lesson in all of this: Put down the phone when descending the stairs.  

And the ache in my back is a reminder of this lesson.  I'm not seriously injured, but I'm injured enough to know that I don't want to learn that lesson again. The pain will likely fade, but hopefully, the lesson was learned.  

All of this got me thinking about the many lessons that the pain we experience in life brings and how often we focus on our pain instead of the lessons it can teach.  

Because sometimes the pain is all we can feel in the moment, it's easy to stay with it, do whatever we can to ease it, numb ourselves to it, or simply wallow in it.  

None of us enjoy feeling the pain of heartbreak, the sting of guilt, the ache of regret, yet these feelings come to us, unwelcome as they are, to teach us if we are willing to learn.

I was listening to a song by Ryan O'Neal this morning, and it had this beautiful and mysterious line that resonated with me:

"Pain's a well-intentioned weatherman/Predicting God as best he can."

I love that line, but it also troubles me.  

It troubles me because I know that sometimes it takes experiencing pain for me to admit that I'm powerless, and I also love it because I hold on to hope that God is not only with me in the painful moments but also doing something new on the other side of them.  

And the lesson we can learn from this is that we're never left alone in our heartache and that the pain of it won't last forever.  There's also something more:

If we're willing to learn the lessons that pain brings when we feel broken, we open ourselves up to the power of the Resurrection within us.  We can also become stronger because of this power.  

Author Amy Tan puts it like this:

So this is what I will do.  I  will gather together my past and look.  I will see a thing that has already happened.  The pain that cut my spirit loose.  I  will hold that pain in my hand until it becomes hard and shiny, more clear.  And then my fierceness will come back, my golden side, my black side.

There's so much beauty in that quote. The author declares that she will not be overcome by the pain she's experienced but instead will use it to find a new way forward.

She learns to embrace her "sides" as part of who she is and harness the power within her to learn from her pain and transcend it.

May you see it, too.  May you find that the lessons from the pain you hold have become more apparent to you and that as you hold it tightly, you feel the rush of Resurrection within you.  

May it be so.  And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.  

[jerek]

it's an 'invisible machinery' type of night again!!

[tarvastries]

how do people listen to sleeping at last and not go absolutely bonkers?? Like

“forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn”??? “darkness exists to make light truly count”??? “may our stories catch fire and burn bright enough to catch God’s eye”??? “we pray we were made in the image of a figure eight”??? “if truth is north then I am true south”??? “It’s so exhausting on this silver screen where I play the role of anyone but me”??? “I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life”??? “God knows, I am dissonance waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune”??? “I bend the definition of faith to exonerate my blind eye”??? “pain is a well-intentioned weatherman predicting God as best he can, but God I wanna feel again”??? “our stained glass means nothing without light”??? “in our grey matter all grey matters”??? “sign language is our reply when church bells make no sound”??? “for in our great sorrow we learn what joy means”??? “I’ll try and find the image of God in mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke”??? “they’re calling off the war on account of losing track of what we’re fighting for”??? “if brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy”??? “it’s a cruel, cruel trick how we find ourselves when we lose everything else”???

There are so many more but these are just my favorites

Songs referenced:

Uneven Odds / In the Embers / South / Three / Nine / Mercury / Earth / Touch / Sight / Mind / Emphasis / Sorrow / Anger / Mars / Neptune / Woodwork

[juliapawshine]

I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain's a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I wanna feel again

[gwynsnesta]

Touch - Gwynriel (pregnant Gwyn)

Gwyn spent all day sitting by the piano with her songbook in hand as she pondered what to write. Azriel was out spying and their estate felt lonely when he was gone. Though a few of his shadows stayed behind, they’d soon gotten bored with sitting around. She had desperately wanted to write a song before Az got home to sing it to him. And though she wanted to go, her state left her sitting home.

She was near ready to give up when she felt the baby kick. Gwyn laughed as she placed a hand on her swelling stomach. She loved talking and singing to her baby. She had so many creative ideas when the pregnancy had first started out. But now she was tired, and alone. Not truly. She had her unborn child. But she missed Azriel’s warm arms. She missed her friends who were on a Valkyrie mission and Cassian had gone with Az since Gwyn demanded he didn’t go alone.

Feyre and Rhys were also busy with Nyx, though both her High Lord and Lady had visited her. Mor had stayed over as they gossiped about their partners and their mutual friends but Mor had returned to her home this morning. Gwyn wasn’t as close with Elain, Amren or Varian. She liked Lucien but he was with Vassa and Jurian

“What should I write?” She whispered to her baby even though no one was here. The darkness had taken over and a storm raged through. But Gwyn didn’t mind. She loved the rain and the thunder. The lighting that occasionally occurred. She didn’t understand why. Just that she had always loved storms.

Gwyn felt herself revisiting memories with Catrin. How they used to play in the streams and read stories to the children in Sangravah. Some days they played out those stories. She wondered if her baby would like stories. Most kids did. But she didn’t know. She didn’t know anything about being a mother and it scared her half to death.

Gwyn started to remember other moments like first meeting Nesta and later Emerie. Training with Cassian and her sisters. Her first dinner with the Inner Circle. Making friends with Lucien. The mating bond snapping. Azriel. Azriel. Azriel. How she had come so far. How she could be touched by her mate. How she could hug Rhys, Cassian and Lucien. How she could shake a male’s hand and know she was safe.

The song hit her like a sword. Gwyn didn’t need to write a song about happiness or her family. Today she’d write a song about herself. About her journey and her experiences. About what she could do know that she was on the path of recovery. She may not ever fully heal but she was glad enough for who she was know.

When will I feel this

As vivid as it truly is

Fall in love in a single touch

And fall apart when it hurts too much

Can we skip past near-death clichés

Where my heart restarts, as my life replays?

All I want is to flip a switch

Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

Gwyn wrote about how she first felt when she realised she loved Azriel. How she was afraid to lose him. To be broken once more. But it was a different type of broken. One that couldn’t easily be fixed. A heart shattering. But it hadn’t. Az had chosen her and she him.

I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I want to feel again

How Gwyn had begun to feel again. How she had prayed to the mother and the cauldron. How they rewarded her with this. Love. A mate and a child. Friends, family and her sisters.

Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing

Just some information upon my skin

I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed

The barometric pressure we always blamed

All I want is to flip a switch

Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

They may not be her thoughts now but they had been once before. Gwyn had been so afraid to feel. To allow herself to love someone as much as she loved Azriel and her unborn child. But she had made it here. She’d continue down this path.

Invisible machinery

These moving parts inside of me

Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time

Leaving only rust behind

Well I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I want to feel again

Oh God, I want to feel again

Gwyn did feel again. She made it here. And she couldn’t be more proud of herself.

Down my arms, a thousand satellites

Suddenly discover signs of life

When Gwyn finished her song she felt her baby kick her again. Softly and gently. As if to say “good job mama.” How she couldn’t wait to hold her bundle of joy in her arms. How she couldn’t wait to start this new path with Azriel.

———

Song is Touch by Sleeping at Last x

[arostormblessed]

Sleeping at Last lyrics that make me go mildly insane

Pain’s a well-intentioned weatherman, predicting God as best he can/ but God I want to feel again

I woke up so worried that the angels let go

Go ahead and laugh even if it hurts/go ahead and pull the pin/what if we could risk everything we have and just let our walls cave in

A feather is a ton of bricks/or maybe I’m just sensitive

Oh there’s magic in our bones/a north star in our souls

I once knew your father well/ he fought tears as he spoke of your mother’s health/ I guess a part of him just couldn’t return/ forgiveness is the lesson he cursed you to learn

I am short of breath standing next to you/ I am out of my depth at this altitude

God it’s easy to forget there’s magic in all of this

So we dragged ourselves back home/let our cuts and bruises heal/and another war began, one that no one else could feel

I guess space and time/takes violent things, angry things and makes them kind

Somehow all of this mess/ is just my attempt to know the worth of my life

I was a billion little pieces till you pulled me into focus/ astronomy in reverse, it was me who was discovered

You are so much more than your father’s son/you are so much more than what I’ve become

Fall in love with a single touch/ and fall apart when it hurts too much

I’m only honest when it rains/an open book with a torn-out page and my ink’s run out/I want to love you but I don’t know how

Show me where my armor ends/show me where my skin begins

You’re much too young now, so I write these words down/ darkness exists to make light truly count

A million choices though little on their own/ become the heirlooms of the heaviness we’ve known

Time moves slow/ when half of your heart has yet to come home

And sometimes our compass breaks/ and our steady true north fades/ we’ll be just fine

Maybe I’ve done enough/ and your golden child grew up

Sweetheart you look a little tired/ when did you last eat?/ come in and make yourself right at home, take as long as you need

When we grew up our shadows grew up too

You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong/ my healing needed more than time

Who am I to say what any of this means?/ I’ve been sleepwalking since I was fourteen

I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence/but here’s a map, here’s a shovel/ here’s my Achilles heel/ I’m all in, palms out, I’m at your mercy now

[amlovelies]

oc’s as songs from my top spotify 2020 songs

thank you for the tag @narrativefoiltrope 💜 I always love doing stuff like this 🥰

under the cut to not clog the dash

Vesper Bui (they/she: FHR) - Angry too by lola blanc And does it get your blood boiling, does it make you see red? Do you wanna destroy it, does it get in your head? 'Cause it gets my blood boiling and I'm coming unglued It would hit you like poison if you knew what I knew You would be angry too

Cynthia Basri (she/her: FHR) - Touch by sleeping at last Well I know, I know the sirens sound Just before the walls come down Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can But God, I want to feel again Oh God, I want to feel again

Emma Langford (she/her: TWC) - Two by sleeping at last Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat

Serena Willis (she/her: TWC AU)- Hunting Happiness by w. darling  Show me a shot of a miracle And I'll find the dirt on the frame It's easier chasing a fantasy Than trusting your heart won't rip mine apart

I have an idea I’ve been playing around with for an IF don’t know how much I’ll end up doing with it, but I wanted to include two of the ROs anyway 😜

Rory (untitled if project)- Thompkin square park by mumford & sons  I never tried to trick you babe I just tried to work it out But I was swallowed up by doubt If only things were black and white 'Cause I just want to hold you tight Without holding back my mind

Logan (untitled if project)- Adore you by Harry Styles  You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

tagging @roses-and-roo @pearlsandsteel and @mistyeyedbi (no pressure!) and anyone else who thinks this would be fun 

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and as I've watched the 911 discourse this week move from how disappointing it was to be forced to watch the Taylor show to Buddie's unprocessed trauma I can't resist bringing up another fitting song, so let's revisit Touch. Ironic i know since that's exactly the opposite of what these two have been doing all season, but still fitting. I mean with lyrics like "skip past near-death cliches" and "I know the sirens sound" that is essentially all about repressing, how could I resist?

Okay, I have been DYING to do this one and I’m so happy I finally have the time!! Also, I can’t find my original post because Tumblr hates me and I haven’t made a masterlist yet but since it was about Malex the first time, it’s fine 🤷‍♀️ So lets dive into the Buddy feels!!

when will i feel this as vivid as it truly is, fall in love in a single touch, and fall apart when it hurts too much?

Okay but honestly?! This is sooo Buddie! Like, Buck especially as he is so desperately searching for love in anyone and anything that will give him the smallest taste, but Eddie shook hands with Buck ONCE and they were both totally gone on each other and within a year, Eddie had to go a week or two having a hard time and not being able to talk to Buck about it and literally lost his entire mind?! Also, as you mentioned, the growing distance is very loud this season given how physically close they usually are, and I’m just having thinky thoughts about both of them holding back because the second they stop they are going to have to face the pain and they WILL fall apart.

can we skip past near-death clichés where my heart restarts, as my life replays? all i want is to flip a switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed.

😭😭😭 This is just killing me in all my Buddie feels. Eddie nearly dying in the well, having flashbacks and thinking of Christopher and Buck to fight his way home, Eddie, reaching across the pavement for Buck as he’s bleeding out in the street, Eddie having a realization and ending things off with Ana before something breaks that cannot be fixed. But also Buck, watching the dirt and mud come down on top of Eddie. Buck with a face full of blood staring at Eddie and fighting to get to him, and keep him together. Buck wanting to flip a switch and take the bullet for Eddie because that would be better for everyone rather than Eddie leaving and Buck being left behind again. I can’t....

i know, i know- the sirens sound just before the walls come down. pain is a well-intentioned weatherman predicting God as best he can, but God i want to feel again.

rain or shine, i don’t feel a thing, just some information upon my skin. i miss the subtle aches when the weather changed, the barometric pressure we always blamed.

all i want is to flip a switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed.

So this is all very Eddie during his repression era, shutting down ALL the feelings so he can function, until everything starts falling apart and he is crushing it down harder and harder desperately trying to keep from falling apart, but now he can’t allow himself to feel anything even though he wants to. But it’s also got me in my Buck feels, thinking of him trying to turn his emotions off so he can go back out and keep the rest of the team safe, take the stupid risks so they don’t have to after Eddie gets shot, and now taking his cues from Eddie and pulling back and isolating more and more, and how he has a girlfriend and one who they have made a point in the past few episodes to show in his home, there when he gets off work, but things are still cold and distant  because he can’t talk to Eddie about what he’s feeling and he doesn’t want to make it about him but he was there too and something something about May saying it’s shared trauma and they aren’t talking about it together and how it’s exactly where Buck and Eddie are...*screams into pillow*

invisible machinery, these moving parts inside of me well, they’ve been shutting down for quite some time, leaving only rust behind.

well i know, i know- the sirens sound just before the walls come down. pain is a well-intentioned weatherman predicting God as best he can, but God i want to feel again, oh God i want to feel again.

Oof oof oof. Eddie has been a master at shutting things down and moving on, or so he thinks. But has he ever really moved on? From any of it? Or is he finally having to face the rusted out machinery inside and the work it will take to get it all moving again, and balking because he can’t break down, not now, because part of what he has to face is Buck and what is there between them but Buck has a girlfriend so Eddie keeps shutting things down. And it’s only a matter of time before that rubber band finally snaps and it all comes pouring out. Because Eddie doesn’t want to be shut down. He doesn’t want that for his son and he doesn’t want it for himself. He wants to feel again.

And then we have Buck who started season 4 so promisingly with admitting he’s hiding his true feelings from others and how to work through that, but here we are and he’s still not talking to Eddie about the shooting, or the will, or the girlfriends, and he’s sure as hell not talking to HIS girlfriend about things, about real things because when he tries he’s dismissed as making things about him, so he’s withdrawing more and more and it’s so painful to see but Buck isn’t as good at holding things in, though he’s pretty good at seeming fine. Until he’s not. 

down my arms, a thousand satellites suddenly discover signs of life.

I am waiting for it to all come pouring out so both Buck and Eddie can start to heal, and I am crossing my fingers for some of that to start tonight. The payoff is coming, I can feel it!

Thanks for bringing us to the Buddie Breakdown hour, Nonnie! I am manifesting good things tonight but we’re already getting Buck and Eddie BOTH holding babies so if nothing else, that’s gonna be great!